I don't really consider myself a success, but more of a survivor - someone with
strong enough will and determination to have overcome one of the world's most
difficult challenges in life, and is doing just fine. If the measure of success
however, is simply overcoming such a challenge and moving on to live a normal
life, then I am successful.or maybe lucky, or somehow blessed, I really don't
know. What I do know is that prior to my transition I thought all of this to be
inconceivable - absolutely impossible. Not going to happen - EVER. Ha!
Decades of powerful denial and suppression mixed with growingly intense gender
dysphoria created a tightly wound psychological spring on the clock of a bomb
that was destined to go off when it reached it's flashpoint...and so it did,
changing my life and the life of those I loved forever. But rather than digress
into a biography, I would like to focus on what all of this has meant to me, and
what I learned along the way.
I found that I had more power over my own life than I had ever imagined
possible. I experienced great losses but learned to find open doors leading to
places I never could have imagined myself being able to go in a million years.
I discovered that by focusing on the positive things I had in life I was able to
make my life better, feel happier and do the same for those around me. I
learned that there is no such thing as "can't" - when someone says this they
usually mean they won't, or they don't know how. I learned I can find out how
to do just about anything if I set my mind to it. I discovered that I am the
architect of my own destiny - we all are.
I have no regrets other than the painfully unintentional hurt I inflicted upon
others by having been unable to fight against transsexuality any longer, and not
admitting or recognizing that it was there to begin with - even to myself. I
spent decades in my own internal psychological quicksand, but don't regret it
because I treasure my family and former friends along with the memories of all
the good times we had along the way. (Though to the young person I would say I
believe that transitioning earlier gives you a better opportunity for damage
control in your life as well as a far larger blank slate to map out your life
with.) I also feel very good in knowing I did absolutely the best I possibly
could have in dealing with something so challenging and hard to comprehend, let
Today I am a happily married woman living a rather unremarkable life with my
husband in yuppie suburbia on the West Coast of the US. I participate regularly
in local ladies groups and dabble in several hobbies and projects to keep myself
entertained. I have a loving family, kids, step kids, pets, home and am well
liked in the local community. Living life and enjoying life is a measure of
success I suppose, though often simply the journey is the destination.
I liken my life to that of the Phoenix, having gone down in flames only to arise
in another form, more powerful than ever before, with wisdom and new potential
beyond measure. Transsexuality brings something positive to everyone who
experiences it - opportunity. What you do with your opportunity will determine
your destiny..seize it and do the best you can with what you have, life has a
way of working out in ways you might never expect!